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Like this, you come to
me; moonlight on water,
a desert mirage, only
In dawn, you are
aglow: the sun becomes
a wisp of dream, like
SensesHope is the song your glacier eyes teach me
when they are illuminated by an October moon,
under the creak of iron, where our feet, in unison,
move our bodies away, away from the earth, as though
we can never return to it.
And as hope drips from your tongue onto the patches
of skin I've left bare, virgin,
I wonder how I even arrived here without you.
It is in the long drive home, from one coast to another,
your curls embracing my thighs, and the feeling
of helplessness that washes over my limbs
like a frothing ocean consumes disintegrating hills,
that I search for the words that explain
the desperate quiver in my voice when saying your name,
the numbness in my fingers when I explore you,
and the aches in unidentified places when life becomes
one that is void of you.
Our lips expel a susurration that overpower the love
between forest floors and wandering palms,
and in the discernable sighs clouding between
our jaws, it becomes frighteningly sure that I,
without you, am an oscillating vac
Take me homeyou live in me,
cancerous white noise,
high tide of danger.
you consume me,
oceanic burial ground,
give it up.- how to guarantee a panic attack in the next 24 hrs -
admit out loud how you think you're doing okay, you haven't had a panic attack in at
least three days, and it feels really nice to be calm and in control for once.
- how to sob violently in the cab -
drive through that one street, because yes its shorter, and yes you can
just not look out the window. but come on, did you really think that would work?
- how to sob violently at home -
kid yourself into thinking that you can handle that song/albun/movie/book.
you cant; and you shouldnt. besides, didnt you already tell yourself to toss that out?
All Here For A ReasonI turned onto a shady, well-manicured driveway that, for all intents and purposes, looked harmless enough. Maple trees lined both sides of the street, and a parade of Canadian geese marched across the road to a wide duck pond with a flamboyant fountain. There were blooming crepe myrtles and rose-of-sharons, and as I grew closer to my destination, neatly trimmed gardens with neatly trimmed bushes.
I stopped to let the geese pass. They looked at me; one hissed. I honked my horn and moved around them.
At the end of the road sat a collection of grayish buildings and a number of signs directing me to the appropriate parking lot. "Welcome to Ten Creeks Hospital," said one of them. "Please enjoy your stay." I parked in the visitor's lot. Surely I wouldn't be staying.
I was shaking when I got out of my car. I had spent the morning getting high. One foot in front of the other, flip-flop noises, hot sidewalk. Mulberry and magnolia trees, freshly shaved grass. A bench and pan for smokers. A set o
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